God

 

Consciousness

 

Love

 

Life

 

 

 

It seems to me that throughout all my adult life, my inner life has been circling The Big Three:

 

God, Consciousness, Love.

 

Or should I better put them in “the right sequence”:

 

Love, Consciousness, God.

 

During my puberty I managed to ditch in quick succession:

 

– organized religion (the Catholic kind)

– all notions of tradition (conservative Austrian-ism)

 

– And then I discovered “God as philosophy” in my professor’s library of the great books and scriptures of the past.

– And discovered “ultimate reality” as an inner experience on LSD.

– And as “sat chit ananda” / “truth consciousness bliss” in the experiences brought on by a meditation technique of the Vedic tradition.

– And I discovered “prema”, the profound, pure love, in the context of devotion to God or The Higher Power. 

 

“Those were the days my friend, they seemed to never end…”

🎵🎵  🎤  Conny Francis, 1969 

 

 

But end they did.

 

 

All those experiences, the whole setup that I more or less stumbled into without much of my own doing, had been just the intro, the sounding of the opening cords of my inner life.

I retrospect and on reviewing the whole of my life’s journey I can see this very clearly.

 

Why did the party end, why did the blissful feelings subside?

 

It was all experience, one after the other. Altered, but ever altering states of consciousness, un-grounded. I was way too young and a greenhorn in serious spiritual matters to be able to integrate all those high energies.

 

Obviously a understanding of Consciousness was missing. Obviously I was conscious, aware what was experiencing, but I did not have any idea or notion about consciousness per se.

 

That came much later, that came step by step by often painful step. That came thru crisis, by way of life’s feedback.

That has been The Work.

 

Involving serious efforts to understand mind, psyche, the shadow, archetypes. The subconscious forces that drive us from the deep.

Committed intimate relationships helped in identifying the triggers, unearthing the hidden lingering traumas, subconscious motives and generally unfinished business of the past, this lifetime’s and other’s.

Bringing light into the dark corners, releasing psychological ghosts.

 

~~~

 

Now, fifty years later, I do feel much lighter, quite cleaned out of delusions and illusions and ambitions and the dreams of ego. The “spiritual ego” as well.

 

Many of my spiritual believes and esoteric philosophies have been tested by everyday living and reality-as-is and released when they did not stand the test of time.

 

Most of the remaining spiritual terminologies, concepts & cognitive maps have fallen into their proper place, so to say.

 

It’s a fluid landscape, actually. Nothing is too much fixed and absolute and I like it that way.

 

So I would say, I have arrived at a stage of my journey where things are quite settled inside, in my mind, on the level of psyche and soul.

 

I am at peace with myself. And I am open to move on. To greater heights. To broader vistas.

 

~~~

 

Welcome to the Land of Consciousness,

this endless sublime vista.

 

All vibrations that are even possible,

all of the subtlest differentiations and yet all at once.

 

~~~

 

So, now, here, all that still matters and has mattered ever since – is God, Consciousness and Love.

 

And the grounding and living of it all in my simple, down to earth life, right at the edge of the crazy world of the 21. century.

This is where the paradox lives, contradictions abound, this is where the things can get a bit messy, seemingly incompatible.

This is where I can give no satisfying answers to hard questions anymore:

 

– “Why does God stand by while we are hellbent at destroying our beautiful Earth?”

– “Why are the masses still blindly sleepwalking and following the ego’s every whim – unconscious to the max?”

– “Why is there no compassion towards enemies, no reaching out a hand in conciliation, no love towards The Other, no sharing with the ones in need?”

 

And if I am honest with myself, just for the sake of myself — I don’t even need no answers anymore.

The questions remain of course, I don’t close my eyes to the obvious realities.

 

But I don’t need anymore the consoling of rational answers, the comfort of a rational explanation, the coziness of a believe.

 

~~~

 

I approach God, Consciousness and Love from this vantage point.

And I find that easy to do, because there is no pressure anymore, to find an answer to those three absolute essential ultimate … … …

 

I look at The Big Three not as a puzzle needing to be solved, but as an open ended meditation to be in.

Something that does not need definitions or cognitive maps anymore.

Something that maybe does not even need words anymore.

 

 

Something that just needs me to be,

open,

still,

receptive.

 

 

~

~~

~~~

~~

~

 

 

ps: A few weeks after i had written this post, it dawned on me that i had forgotten to mention one very very very important factor involved in the whole existential equation:

 

LIFE

 

How could I?

 

When i was young I always declared that:

“Life is the only God I know!“

And in a way, that still holds true at some level. So, i want to apologize to Life for completely forgetting to even mention “her”. Cuz, where would i be without her? Only God knows!

 

😉

 

 

To be continued

Please come back another day